Photo: Pangong Lake, India.

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                  It’s true. The aliens had come. Mumbai had become the target of terror mediated by extraterrestrial (ET) living beings. A small planet outside the solar system was inhabited by alien beings. But due to environmental changes, the planet had become inhabitable and the ETs population was fast dwindling due to rampant mortality.  As a result, the total population on that planet was a mere 2019 ETs.  So, the ETs planned to migrate to another planet and their research showed Earth to be a promising destination. Also, from their research statistics, India seemed to be a great land. But to establish themselves in India, they needed to wipe out the Indian populace part by part. So the entire population of 2019 ETs boarded a spaceship, along with their counterparts of lock, stock and barrel, and bid adieu to their planet.  The first step of the ETs’ plot was to enter Mumbai and detonate powerful explosives throughout the city. The aliens landed their flying saucer on the island of Elephanta Caves near the shore of Mumbai. Then a team of ETs, including the Supremo of the aliens, rode individually on amphibian scooters over the sea and reached the Gateway of India. Each alien was carrying a time bomb to be planted in an assigned crowded area of Mumbai. One of their targets was also the Gateway of India area, where a bomb was to be left discreetly before moving on. When the Supremo reached the Gateway, he was awed by its architectural magnificence, he had never seen anything like it. So he posed and took several selfies at different angles with the great Gateway in the background. The ETs on scooters then entered the city roads. By the time it was realized that they had forgotten to place the bomb at the gateway due to the Supremo’s photography session, it was too late, as the ETs had already reached the inner parts of the city. At a pre-calculated  time, by which the ETs would have reached their respective target areas, planted the bombs and would have returned to the spaceship, one of their comrades in the flying saucer was to activate the remote control of the explosives planted by the ETs. And the city would be hit by catastrophe.   In one street in South Mumbai, the Supreme ET was simultaneously doing a survey to identify an area for building his mansion. All of a sudden, a strong heavenly aroma caught the alien leader’s attention. He turned his head toward the aroma and saw a human in white kurta-pajama near a four-wheeled cart, which seemed to be loaded with cooking items. The human waved something at him, it looked like a small spongy flying saucer sliced through the middle, and another golden-brown flying saucer placed in between. Instinctively, the Supremo guessed that it was something to eat.  Allured by the ambrosial aroma, the alien felt an uncontrollable pang of hunger. He got off from his scooter, removed his head gear and took what the human was offering him. He ate the Vada-Pav with relish and felt hungrier. He asked for one more and gobbled that too. The head alien even asked for three more to be packed in a parcel, for his family back in the spaceship. The ET took some alien currency from his pocket and gave it to the human, but the human calmly refused, “No, I don’t keep any currency I can’t use”.  Although feeling very guilty that he had nothing to give the human,  the experience of eating the vada pav had been so heavenly that the Supremo could not stop himself from asking the human for the recipe of the vada pavs. The Mumbaite readily parted with that also, although he knew that the alien had nothing to give him in return. Touched by the magnanimity of the human, the Supremo offered to build a mansion for the human, who said that he could not accept such a huge compensation for a few pieces of vada pav. Completely overwhelmed, the Supremo of aliens shook hands with the human, and gave him a tight embrace in which he could feel the Mumbaiite's heart thumping for India. The Alien then connected with all his fellow aliens in the city, and barked at them that the mission was called off. He ordered them to immediately return to their spaceship along with their time bombs. The Supremo decided to carry out the plan of forcible occupation in some other habitable land. So, very soon the aliens were back in their spaceship. Well, except one, who had also been eating vada pav somewhere else when the Supremo gave out return orders. He forgot to retrieve the bomb from where he had planted it. Then, several things happened in rapid succession. The spaceship was geared for take-off, with all but one alien aboard. It started raining in the city, and you know how the rain is in Mumbai. And the pre-calculated time for the operator in the spaceship to activate the remote control of the explosives came, which he did as planned, as it had been forgotten to give him instructions otherwise. The Supremo realized it, but it was a wee bit too late by then. On the island, everything was blown to bits that could not even be seen. Only the Elephanta Caves remained unscathed, being made of tough stuff, which like a diamond, is forever. The upheaval in the sea was muted to ripples near the Mumbai shoreline. The one ET who had initially forgotten his bomb, rushed back to get it. When he picked it up, the bomb which was now suitably wetted, exploded in a rather subdued fashion. It impacted only the alien. People rushed to the spot but the ET was dying. His last words were “vada pav” and he passed away. The spaceship and its contents were obliterated. The death toll of the aliens was one hundred percent. Thus, that species of forgetful aliens was wiped out from the evolutionary landscape.  Samajhnewale samajh gaye, jo na samjhe…. jo na samjhe wo _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (reader’s choice) hai. Jai Hind.   

-Manisha Deshpande, Ph.D.